The Perfect Job
The alarm goes off, is a terrible sound, I have the smell of dead fish in my mouth, I don’t even know where that comes from, my brain says “move” but the body can’t, I feel awful. I‘ll have a shower, it’s a small relief, I need coffee, tons of coffee.
Hit the road, I’m stuck in traffic, I’m late….. The smell of the car fumes is nauseating, I would like to call in sick and go back to bed, but I did that already too many times. Here we go at work, my boss, a fat and ugly implacable German nun, gives me a look that goes between the disappointment and disgust, I can’t blame her, I do really look bad today. The time seems never passing by, this routine will kill me, I try to have a chat with Tom, my colleague, aargh!
Bad idea… that weirdo is now incessantly blabbering about his Japanese comic’s collection, somebody save me please! It’s a torture. Lunch break finally! The yesterday pasta tastes like cardboard, back to work, the break is 30 mins only, it feels like 5.
After interminable hours the time has come, I’m heading back home, too depressed to see people, too tired to go out, tomorrow is gonna be the same. That would be my life if I was home but.. I’M IN KOH TAO!!!! Working as a Divemaster in Scuba J!
The alarm goes off, but in my mouth I can still taste the grilled fish I ate last night on the beach, my brain says “move” and it always does, ready to go diving! I feel awesome. The cold shower is like an orgasm with this heat, watermelon shake at Coffee Boat and go!
There are no car fumes, just the energizing gentle breeze coming from the sea that mitigates the beautiful sun that is shining upon. I look as awesomely tanned as my colleagues (well not all of them), despite being really early the people are chatting and laughing , of course, they’re on vacation, and I feel I am too. There’s no routine, my office is the sea, one day I’m swimming along with a 8 meter whale shark, the other I’m surrounded by a huge school of barracudas, the next one I’m chased by an angry triggerfish .
Once finished diving, I might be physically tired, but there’s no time for sleep now, I could, but I will miss the beer with my colleagues and customers, the dinner on the beach restaurant, the pool and jenga at Sunflower bar, the session at the trapeze, the cocktail at the swimming pool! Every day I meet different people, that have amazing stories to tell and knowledge to share, and some of them will stay in your heart forever. My boss Natalie is tall Amazon, I wish the other boss David was a nice view too… but hey… no one has the perfect job.
Eugenio Baka Condoriano Pompadour, Dive Master